Dating Cliff means the addition of several things in my life: some insane legal clients, extra taxes, the hounds, and an 85 gallon fish aquarium, among other things. But there is one thing that comes with Cliff, that just doesn't agree with me.
His Grand Prix.
This car is a real piece. Mostly it just sits in the driveway, but every once in awhile, we'll start 'er up and take 'er out. But regardless of how much I complain about riding in it, Cliff is ever-so-proud of it. He's proud that it was in a million pieces when he bought it and now it's put together. He's proud that he paid for it in one lump sum. He's proud that it got him through law school and to and from Michigan during that time.
It's not bad from the outside. Just one small flaw. A kid backed into the driver's door one night, and Cliff took it to a mechanic friend for replacement. Cliff still quotes the friend as saying, "All grays are the same" and so Cliff ended up with his new door looking like this:
I finally found NPR, turned it up all the way so I could hear it over the wind coming in the window and the resulting heater turned up full blast, drove however fast I was going, and made it to and from school just fine.
And then I got home and teased Cliff more than necessary.
And next week, you'll find me in my Jeep.
His Grand Prix.
This car is a real piece. Mostly it just sits in the driveway, but every once in awhile, we'll start 'er up and take 'er out. But regardless of how much I complain about riding in it, Cliff is ever-so-proud of it. He's proud that it was in a million pieces when he bought it and now it's put together. He's proud that he paid for it in one lump sum. He's proud that it got him through law school and to and from Michigan during that time.
It's not bad from the outside. Just one small flaw. A kid backed into the driver's door one night, and Cliff took it to a mechanic friend for replacement. Cliff still quotes the friend as saying, "All grays are the same" and so Cliff ended up with his new door looking like this:
It's kind of difficult to tell from the picture, but the door is a flat gray, and the car is more of a silver. It's less hard to tell in person.
So, our other options for burning gas and miles are my Jeep Grand Cherokee and a truck. Therefore, most of the time, we end up taking my Jeep everywhere.
On most Wednesdays, I drive to a school 45 miles from our house to do a group with the 7th and 8th graders there. I have always taken my Jeep. But this week, we have been to Court in Linn County (75 miles away), to our office in Brookfield (60 miles away), to our office in Keytesville (30 miles away) twice, and tomorrow we have to go to Court in Linn County and our office in Keytesville again. So, to save some gas and miles on my Jeep, I had the "great" idea to drive Cliff's car the 90 mile round trip for my school groups today.
Typically, my complaints come from the passenger seat. Little did I know, the driver's seat is even worse.
First of all, I had to actually use the shifter thingy. When I'm the passenger, I try to put it out of my mind. But as the driver, I actually had to touch it.
Okay, so the actual handle isn't as gross as this, but I like to exaggerate for Cliff's sake.
I got on the highway and looked down to see I was traveling at zero miles per hour. 
Thirty miles into my trip, the speedometer finally started working. Cliff claims this had never happened to him before.
What had happened to him before was the driver's window falling down. It stopped working a few months ago and he warned me before I left: If the window falls down a little when you shut the door, just jiggle it back up by putting a hand on each side of it.
What he didn't tell me is that the window might gradually fall down the longer I drove. By the time I arrived at school, after 45 miles in Missouri winter morning temperatures, the window was like this:
I thought I could forget about it all; just tune it out by listening to NPR. I looked down to find my station and saw this:
The clock doesn't light up, so I didn't know what station I was on or what time it was. I finally found NPR, turned it up all the way so I could hear it over the wind coming in the window and the resulting heater turned up full blast, drove however fast I was going, and made it to and from school just fine.
And then I got home and teased Cliff more than necessary.
And next week, you'll find me in my Jeep.
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Thank you for a much needed laugh!!!
You're welcome!! Glad you smiled!
The 3.8 motor in that awesome Grand Prix is the best motor to ever engineered.
I bet the driver of that car is a handsome man with a rapist wit.